To all the single moms, whether you’re expecting your first, or have multiple children. Whether your spouse passed away, or you’re divorced, or you’ve never been married. God wants you to hear this message.
I have never been married and I was single when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I had so many questions about what he would do without a dad. I had hoped and prayed that my sons dad would come back into his life someday. I had also hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t. I suffered through many sleepless nights when I was pregnant just wondering what would happen with my son’s and my future. “Would he ever know his real dad? Would I find a man who wasn’t his biological father but could be a father figure to him?” These are the thoughts I went over and over in my mind, night after sleepless night. I asked so many people who had been through What I had been through to share their stories with me. I heard stories of reconciliation where the parents of the child got back together and became a family. I heard stories where the Biological father of the child never came around but the child had a step-father who he called daddy. And I would also hear stories where the child had two fathers. His biological father and his step-father, and the child was loved by both.
Each time I heard one of these stories, I would think “that could be me”. I would create the same exact scenario in my head and implant my son and myself into it. I compared myself to everyone else’s stories constantly. I wasn’t happy. I felt like I had to know my future and it killed me that I couldn’t.
As time went on, my pregnancy progressed and I gave birth to my son. He is now 8 months old and it’s taken me a long time to realize what I wish I had always known back then. Your story is not someone else’s. It’s unique. And God is writing it just for you. As I grew and matured in motherhood, I also grew and matured in my relationship with Christ. He helped me realize that it wasn’t the unknown that was making me so unhappy, but the comparison of other people. He showed me that my story is special. It’s going to happen in His timing (and His timing is perfect).
So my message to you, single mothers is this: Don’t compare yourself to other people. God is working ALL things together for your good (Romans 8:28). I was never content in my singleness until I realized that God’s will for my life would be accomplished whether I worried or not. So I’m leaving it in His hands. I trust Him. He knows what is truly best for my son and me and that’s enough.
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11